The Special Ingredient In Your Engagement With the World

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Last week I attended an online masterclass by Jamie Smart, author of the best-selling book ‘Clarity‘ and hosted by Emma McDevitt, founder and director of The Coaching Exchange.

Among many other handy nuggets of wisdom, I brought away the answer to a question that had been niggling in the back of my mind. A question that I could not quite articulate, let alone answer, until the missing piece of the puzzle popped up, courtesy of Jamie and Emma.

I had a big insight about GROUNDING. To be specific, how it relates to engagement and connection with everything in our experience that is not us. Also, I saw how engagement in the process of carrying, birthing, and raising children is connected to our grounding at a particular moment. As soon as that fell into place, I had a series of realisations which I hope will be useful to you too.

I have written a two part series of posts all about grounding. Part One is all about what grounding is, how it shows up in our lives, and some working examples of grounding in practice. Part Two: How Grounding Works From Birth To Adulthood, is about different degrees of grounding we experience in different areas of life, and how nature and nurture are involved in the process.

So read on to hear all about it!

Mysterious Pools of Consciousness

Several years ago, I read Alison Gopnik’s Philosophical Baby (you may have heard me mention it a few times now), in which she describes the difference between how adults and young children experience their Consciousness, or rather, their ability to be aware of their thoughts. Gopnik used the term ‘a stream of consciousness’ to describe adult awareness and ‘pools of consciousness’ to describe that of children. The main idea is that adults have a more or less continuous internal commentary going on, while small kids have not yet acquired these inner voices. So, adults talk to themselves in their mind, while little ones simply do not think in that way yet.

You hear pre-schoolers chattering away in their games, and this is what eventually becomes our inner voice, along with other internalised chunks of language, like those helpful instructions your parents use a lot (i.e. Slow down. It’s not a race. Use a plate.). Before this process occurs, children are aware of going into one activity to the next, with no interim chatter. They just get into something and drop farther and deeper into it, until something occurs that draws them out again. I found this idea quite arresting, but could not put my finger on why this phrase should reverberate in my head as it did. A. Pool. Of. Consciousness.

In my mind, I had a vivid memory of watching our children playing at the beach, completely engrossed in their sand and buckets, as if nothing existed except the grains running through their fingers or heaped onto their spades. That is what it is like to be in a pool of consciousness. It feels pretty damn good too. It is a state of complete peace and total engagement with the world.

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My question was ‘what draws people into a Pool of Consciousness?’

What Lies Beneath Deep Engagement In Life

We have all been children, and all known this ‘pool of consciousness’ type engagement with the world. It is as if whatever we are in contact with becomes an extension of ourselves. For a moment, we lose our separateness, and we become the object or person or motion that we are engaged with. The writer and their laptop, the surfer and the waves, the driver and the car, the child and the handfuls of sand, are all bound together by this glorious, liberated feeling, where we are one with our surroundings, with what we are doing. We are not ourselves, and we are more than ourselves, and we are without the worries and fears that otherwise might trip us up.

All in all, it is pretty awesome.

Grounding is the path on which we usher in this experience of engagement (and flow and vitality, oh yes and love and happiness).

There is a quiet, yet probing feeling. It is more than being in the present. It is a deep grounding in the actual real world ‘out there’, as opposed to being deluded by the narrative of our inner voice. Grown ups get wrapped up in the voice’s projections of how reality is, was, or should be, while little ones do not. This is because the chief purpose of childhood is to learn and grow, while adults are responsible for sorting out the practicalities which allow them to do this. It makes sense for grown ups to know things, categorise stuff, and build up complex mental maps of reality. Our inner voice is really handy for this.

What we often forget to do in the demanding modern world, is to keep the lightest hold on what we ‘know’. The voice ceases to be a tool and becomes our master. This is dangerous, because the voice only has a limited grasp of what is actually real and what appears real. In looking only towards what we already think we know, we lose connection with ‘out there’ because it is always changing.

When we allow ourselves space for engagement, we allow ourselves to explore what is ‘out there’ in a more playful manner. We can feedback new information to ourselves, and incorporate this learning into our perceptions. It is like an automatic update system for the mind. For this system to function well, we must be able to look in another direction than into our existing personal thinking about life, the universe, and everything. This means that we can  look away from any anxieties and preoccupations which are scuppering our connection to objective reality, and see the objects of our attention anew.

Grounding is the extent to which you are able to see that world ‘out there’ for what it actually is, rather than as a projection of what is going on ‘in here’.

This is true clarity. It is feeling alive in the most powerful way. So, it is worth taking time to understand it.

I love this quote from Don Deacy, a former client of Jamie Smart’s:

“Grounding is balance. An ease of movement and interaction with the world. From grounding comes our ability to flow, to extend our senses, to ride the waves, to take the knocks and keep our equilibrium.”

Putting Grounding To Use

Deep ‘Pool of Consciousness’ type grounding is felt in those magic instances where your learning and insight come together in such a way that you feel guided, at ease, and confident, and know just what the next step you need to take will be. You feel at one with whatever you are engaging with. The right study at the right time enhances this raw material, and the potential for outstanding results. For the person diving down, the doing of the thing itself offers immense pleasure, regardless of outcome, and is borne forward by a sense of wonder and rightness. An example of this is the way Mozart’s natural talent and flair for composition allowed him to take all he learned about music and apply it to dazzling effect.

When I watch my children, wading in their pools of consciousness, there is such deep concentration available in those quieter minds of theirs, so much less self-obsession and insecurity. Though they are conscious, they are unselfconscious. Though they already know much about themselves and the world, they can let that go on a whim, and embrace a whole new understanding of who they are. The same goes for the way they view what is going on around them with non-judgement, and get involved in it with abandon.

Sure, it’s not as if children never have tantrums or get annoyed when grand expectations are derailed, just as grown ups do. However, they also mess around a lot more with who they are and what is real, and experiment with their realities to see what feels good. They are not obeying some pre-decided Order of All Things, which cannot be changed, or electing to create an ongoing thought-storm around a particular area of their existence.

So, for example, my daughter, aged six, digs around for ‘treasure’ and finds shiny pebbles, bits of foil, and bottle tops. She is engaged in her thought, but she is also in  touch with reality, completely engaged with what is. It sounds paradoxical, but for her, she IS finding treasure. No one is going to tell her that treasure is actually only gold coins and diamonds, so her paper treasures do not count.

My girl knows that her finds are not precious jewels, but all the same, she allows her bits and bobs to be treasure, and does not judge or compare them to objects of greater monetary value. There is no lie in the game she is creating. The game is not about values. It is not even about her, but is an experimentation with story, with earth, with tangible objects, with exactly what is to hand in that moment. The pleasure is in the finding, not a question of what is found and how it can be audited.

The real difference between children and adults is not that adults are not so imaginative or playful, but that we don’t realise, or do not remember, how much we make up. Kids understand they are the players. Adults forget this, because they get concerned about what the game should be about, or who is winning or losing, or how to play a better game. Before you know it, you think you are at the mercy of the game you invented, all because you forgot that it was you who created it.

Grounding and The Childbearing Journey

Now, time to bring all this around to the topic of having babies and parenting:

To show how grounding can make a real difference in experiences of Childbearing, I want to explore how we make use of various labels for labour contractions and parenting ‘types’.

There are various ways to view the phenomena of contractions and a number of labels we might apply, like ‘rushes’, or ‘sensations’, or ‘tightenings’, or the more traditional word: ‘pains’. The contractions themselves are simply the tightening and relaxing of the uterine muscles. The meaning and label given to this process by the labouring woman has a huge influence on how they are experienced.

If you are pregnant, heading into labour, and you know contractions as ‘pains’ AND you are quite certain that pain is unpleasant or scary, you will get an experience of pain which is unpleasant or scary. There is no room for play or negotiation. If you have the slightest glimpse that contractions could be sensations or rushes or tightenings, you can see even a tiny possibility that they might not be so scary, then the door is open for the experience to be something other than painful and scary. You suddenly have more options to experience these contractions in other ways.

Contractions can be the strumming of a bass, the intro to the song of your baby’s arrival. They can be exhilarating, and you can welcome and ride contractions, or tightening sensations, or rushes. This is not something you do with your intellect. You have to know that contractions are a rhythm of sensation, in the same way that my little girl knows her playthings are treasure. They are bass beats. They are good, pulsing, waves of feeling that you do not need to be afraid of. Babies being born have their grounding to help them, and you have yours to help you. I promise you that this is so.

To take another example, consider the many labels that can get thrown at parents:

There is the Helicopter parent, in constant vigilance; the Neglectful parent who is too into her phone to pay attention; the Gentle parent who is baby-wearing and co-sleeping; the Incompetent Parent, who cannot be trusted; the Slacker parent, who can’t be arsed to get dressed; the Tiger parent, who locks her kid on a balcony for refusing to do their piano practice; the Perfect parent, who is always kind, clean, with nutritious snacks and educational activities to hand. None of these stereotypes are actually real, they are caricatures that we use to connect kinds of parenting behaviour with individuals we encounter, including ourselves.

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Alexis was experiencing a lack of grounding.

When faced with human behaviour, our grounding points us towards what is real, and away from these stereotypical constructions which can be so demoralising, damaging. If we are grounded, we are aware that labels and people are not the same thing. This means that uncharitable assignations cannot derail us in our efforts to build relationships with others, and to treat ourselves with care.

When we are coming from a place of deep grounding, then we are able to see that we are NOT a label, we are a person who is worthy of love, respect, and belonging, and the same goes for everyone else. In order to express love and kindness for those we care for, we have to extend this compassion to ourselves and other parents. Going deeper in our grounding is the most efficient way to develop a fulfilling engagement with everything and everyone in our lives, to enjoy ourselves, and to enjoy our SELF. It affords us a look at the sunny day of reality instead of gazing into a cloud of inner chatter.

Grounding reminds us, that we too are treasures, to be cherished and enjoyed.

Grounding Is Your Silent Supporter

When it comes to becoming a parent, for the first or a multiple of times, then grounding is something you can rely on through pregnancy, birth, and beyond. After all, even though it may not always appear to be the case, creating, birthing, and nurturing our young is a natural process. Even if you feel like giving up and running off to some kind of island for beleaguered souls, the more you know that you can breathe and be kind to yourself when the window is foggy, the less you will worry about difficult emotions. Look at the fantastic capabilities of your body and mind, with which you make brand new life. Take a look around you and really see that you AND your children have deep grounding from which to grow.

It is human and normal to have clouded judgement regarding what is real from time to  time, perhaps even often. It is also the case that your grounding can support you, even as you learn to dive deeper, more loving, and more daring than ever. Perhaps through this process you may also revisit the simple absorption and pleasure of a pool of consciousness, in the midst of that ordinary, everyday stream. Grounding is the key to deep engagement with the world ‘out there’ and with all our experiences have to offer us.

So hurray for grounding! Plus, I am so pleased to have worked out what was niggling me about pools of consciousness. Thank you Jamie and Emma for unsticking me!

Do come back and check out Part Two: How Grounding Works From Birth To Adulthood

If you want to learn more about getting grounded, then I highly recommend reading either of Jamie’s books: Clarity and The Little Book of Clarity. Find out all about him and his work here.

You can connect with Emma, and join a vibrant community of coaches, at The Coaching Exchange

What is your experience of grounding?

Did you find this post helpful? If so, feel free to share it around.

Come and try out one of my services to deepen your grounding in pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, or mothering.

I would love to hear what you think about grounding! So, do come and share your thoughts in the Mamajestic Facebook Group or leave me a comment below.

It is always awesome to connect with you all ‘out there’. Sending you good wishes!

Lots of love,

Alexis

xxx

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Christmas presence 11: Let The River Flow!

On the 11th day of Christmas, Alexis said to me….

Let the river flow!

Isn’t it funny. Last week Christmas was such a big deal, and suddenly whoosh! It’s gone past. In hindsight, it seems less structured, less significant. It is just a memory. Just a thought. Just like 2015 is about to be. 

The thing is, Christmas was always made of thought, it is just much more obvious in the rear view mirror that this is so. Our thoughts are like a river, bringing life into view, and then taking it off downstream. Sometimes, it is such a relief to have that river take something away. It sweeps stuff off your mind. 

I can remember that the last few Festive periods, I have been so ready to take all the decorations down, pack up, and get on with ‘normality’. I couldn’t wait to throw it all into the river. I don’t feel that just yet this time. Each day can unfold in its own time, and I will see what the river brings, what it takes. 

The difference for me is seeing that the river will always take life with it. That string of present moments. Last Christmas, I felt like I had to divest myself of it. This year, I can see it bobbing on the horizon, about to fall off the edge of the world, at least for 350 days or so. Merry lights atwinkling, and splash. Going. Going….

Moving towards the New Year, perhaps your thoughts are turning to reflection on 2015, and to your hopes for 2016. Perhaps you are thinking of betterment, of renewal, of goals and achievements. 

Here is a wee video about resolution! It got hijacked by a cheeky elf;)

Wherever we are, we can only ever be in this moment, only the presence experiencing these thoughts, only a blink in the eye of everything. 

I bet you anything that any behaviour you want to shift in the New Year is a result of thinking you have at the time. A result of having a lot on your mind. I know mine is. 

So, it’s nice to know that, no matter what, the river will carry stuff off my mind. If I don’t cling onto it, it will do so with more ease. When we don’t think of things, they cease to exist for us. That doesn’t mean it is helpful to try and forget, only that recognising the nature of thought and its propensity to change helps us to stay present and clear. 

Sometimes, like with Christmas, changes in circumstances help us to let things flow away, to not cling. I give very little thought to Christmas in the spring or summer. It’s not a big part of my circumstances, and  therefore not salient in my consciousness (though, it might pop up once or twice).

Other times, we have to allow things to flow away. These thoughts can be tricky to let go because we have coupled some associations to our ongoing circumstances. When we have recurring thoughts over a period of time, that thinking becomes habitual, and often feels every real.

So, my body is a part of my ongoing circumstances, and over time, I couple associations with its mass, such as the thought that being 65kg is OK, but being 75kg is not, and being 85kg is very bad. My experience of my body changes, so that no matter what weight I am, I can have a healthy mental experience or an unhealthy mental experience of its mass.

Because I have this recurring idea, which I begin to take seriously, that 65kg is happier and better than 85kg, I am more likely to have an unhealthy mental experience of being heavier. So, if I am feeling heavy and unhappy, the answer seems to be that I cannot be happy with my body until I am lighter. Of course, I can be glad of not being heavier, and I can see that once you get to a certain mass, weight loss becomes bad. Nonetheless, my habit becomes to see my weight and happiness as being linked, and being heavier than 65kg as undesirable. The more I think this habit, the more real it feels.

The fact is, there is no necessary link between my weight and my mental health. Knowing this, I may still choose to lose a bit of weight, because common sense tells me that it is a good idea for my physical wellbeing. However, the need to associate my weight and happiness disappears, as does judging myself. This is actually helpful from a weight loss point of view, because when I get annoyed about my weight, it is my habit to reach for the chocolate.

I may not always see this, but the more I see it, the more I see it.

If we don’t hold on, thought flows away. If we don’t take it too seriously, it flows away. If we don’t do anything, it flows away. 

And new things will come. 

So, forgive me the use of the imperative, but don’t decide what you can add or what you can gain in 2016. 

Think about what you can let go.

Splash!….Going….going…..going…

What thoughts are you clinging to? 

What can you allow the river to take off your mind? 

Come and tell us in the Mamajestic Facebook Group. Come share your experiences with us! 

Lots of love,

Alexis

Xxx

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Christmas Presence 8: It’s Not Personal

On the eighth day of Christmas, Alexis said to me…

It’s not personal!

Dare to be different,

We are presences,

All is well,

There is nought to do,

Let your light shine,

All we see is thought,

and we are innately happy!

A Christmas Cracker Story….

The other day my husband and I were collapsing on the sofa after a pleasant, but rather intensive family afternoon, ending with two out of three children having simultaneous tantrums in the back of the car as we drove home (that was NOT the fun part).

It was late. Our youngest child, who had not settled in her bed, was asleep on my knee. There was wine. There was cheese. There was crap TV. All ingredients we enjoy together when we are tired out.

Unfortunately, there was also a bit of a mood going on.

I was brooding and feeling bruised after a succession of encounters with my children’s runaway emotions over the course of the week. I should have seen that coming. I should have pre-empted their meltdowns. I shouldn’t have cared what people thought when they saw my children yelling in rage. Even when you know it is all just thought, sometimes the ‘shoulds’ pop up and hit you in the face.

I asked my husband to go and get me some crackers to go with the cheese. He got up and fetched me two, then sat down. We ate. More cheese was cut. I asked him to get up and get me another cracker, as I didn’t want to dislodge and wake our daughter.

“No! Can’t you just eat the cheese?” (exasperated look).

Sighs. Gets up. Brings back box of crackers.

What a bastard.

Well, that was my tired, wired, already annoyed assessment in that moment. Why should he not go and fetch whatever I desired. After all, I had made two meals that day. I had baked muffins. I had bathed the kids. Why could this man, who professed to love me until death do us part, not get me another  cracker?

I guess he would tell the story in a different way. He would explain how tired he felt. How he was wound up with thinking about making the house nice for his family arriving the next day. How he was wondering about how on earth he was going to get his work done in time for Christmas. How he felt like a lousy parent for getting upset when the kids were having their moments of anguish. He felt angry with himself. Angry with life. Troubled and anxious. And on top of that, his wife was being really awkward about crackers.

So, on balance, he was feeling kind of angry with me too.

And let’s not forget that he went and got me the damn crackers.

It was not an argument. It was not a big thing. It was just a conversation about a cracker.

It was a moment where we were each wrapped up in our thoughts, feeling the difficult thinking coiled around us. We could not see one another clearly. We could not see beyond our personal thunderclouds.

To each of us, it looked like the other was responsible for the ill feelings being experienced. We saw a lack of help. A refusal to hold out a supporting hand and pull us up again. We could not see in that moment, that it is not other people who pull us out of our moods. It is our moods that pull us away from people.

Now, I can tell the story again.

My husband and I were tired and in low states of mind.

We got grumpy with one another about crackers.

Except, it wasn’t about the crackers. It wasn’t even about each other.

It was about a bit of thinking in the moment that was getting us in trouble.

It passed.

We love each other really.

Amazing how, even with a lot of thought-spotting practice, thinking pops up in the moment and fools you. Tricks you into believing all kinds of things.

So, this video, that I am now getting to, is all about why that should be. This video is all about why it is not about you, when you see a partner, child, family member, random person, who is suffering and acting a bit less nice than you might hope. It is not about you, when someone gets all grinch faced. Nor is it up to you to fix their mood. Be compassionate, stay calm, and let nature get to it. Or get pissed off, but know that it is not really about them either.

Above all, don’t go crackers.

I have some amazing resources to share with you about relationships during Christmas and those moments of mutual anguish:

Jill Whalen just wrote this lovely post about getting on with others and how we suffer through our thinking about it;

This is a wonderful interview with the psychologist Dr Amy Johnson. If you have never played Dysfunctional Family Bingo, this might be the perfect time start, and enjoy a lighter experience of your people’s foibles.

This is a video of Elsie Spittle talking to Ankush Jain about what happens to difficult relationships when you find a better feeling to come from.

How are you feeling today?

Thank you for letting me share this story with you, because it is an awesome way to bring yourself back to the better ways of telling our stories!

Click on the link and come tell me your story in the Mamajestic Facebook Group. I am mighty curious to hear about your own Christmas Crackers.

Lots of love,

Alexis

xxx

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Christmas Presence 7: Dare To Be Different!

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On the seventh day of Christmas, Alexis said to me….

Dare to be different!

We are presences,

All is well,

There is nought to do,

Let your light shine,

All we see is thought,

and we are innately happy!

I thought about re-recording this video, because I looked at it and thought, now that is an unflattering angle, I sound out of breath, and it is not how I like to appear in ideal circumstances! Then I decided it was perfect for this post, this message, and this day. Imperfections are allowable, natural, and a healthy part of life. By being truly present with what is, including our imperfections and mistakes, then we can use our substantial human gifts to express what is in our hearts. In doing this, we can let our lights shine that bit brighter.

Keeping it short and sweet today:)

Here is a lovely video from Brene Brown on Why Your Critics Aren’t The Ones That Count.

How do you choose to express your heart this Christmas?

What imperfections can you allow to be in your life, in your self?

Come join us in all our imperfect glory in the Mamajestic Facebook Group

or do me a kindness and come like the Mamajestic Page!

Lots of love,

Alexis

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Christmas Presence 6: We Are Presences

On the sixth day of Christmas, Alexis said to me…

We are presences,

All is well,

There is nought to do,

Let your light shine,

All we see is thought,

And we are innately happy!

Studies have shown that, contrary to popular belief, leopards not only change their spots, but their spots grow and develop with them. Most likely what they wear is a product of evolution, environment, and age. 

In much the same way, we change throughout our lives, as do the outfits we dress up in. While small children like to play doctors, or mummies and daddies, we guise ourselves in all kinds of ways as we mature. This applies to the ways that we alter our appearance according to the social role we are engaged in, and also how we adopt particular behaviours for that role. Some of these guises spring from our natural dispositions, and others from our beliefs and desires. 

In this video, I talk about what we truly are, beyond whatever we are dressed up as, at a given moment.

Taking on the role of ‘mother’ is a big adjustment to make. There are the natural physiological changes of pregnancy, birth, and mothering, brought about by our biology, but also the psychological shifts which we undergo due to changes in our thinking, which occur for both biological and social reasons. Our priorities, identities, and beliefs may get thrown into sharp contrast compared to the ‘before time’ (as my husband and I refer to our lives before parenthood). 

There are many more roles we might play in our lives, daughter, friend, wife, cousin, mortal enemy, responsible employee, customer, entrepreneur, hostess, teacher, learner, activist, feminist, spiritualist, to name but a few. In any situation, we have a schematic idea of who we should be, a ready label, a blue print. 

Some roles, we play with a passion, others with analytic intensity, others we accept only with reluctance, some we perform without really thinking about it, some are exciting, some are habit, some are disagreeable, some are pleasurable. In fact, some roles are all these things, because the ‘job description’ of what it means to be anything, and how we feel about it, is always changing in our minds. 

When we look at the people around us, it is easy to see one another as fixed points or snap shots rather than a fluid changing being. We characterise people in our minds’ eyes, attaching particular labels to them, then we confuse these labels with the living, breathing presence which we interact with. We do this to ourselves too. 

No matter what we think we are in a given moment, where our focus is, all we can be is a presence. We shift, we change, and we are capable only of responding to what is in our thoughts in a given moment, which does not stay the same. Though we might exhibit mental habits and attendant behaviours, this is not who we are, because we can break or outgrow habits, yet somehow remain ourselves. 

We are presences. We are not personalities. 

We can and do change our spots with regularity. 

What’s more, given our innate wellbeing and happiness, we are disposed to being loving presences. Even when we do not see or feel this love in our idea of who we are, or who someone else is, in that particular moment. 

After all, think of who we were when we were babies, new to the world. Our minds were completely different then, and have undergone so much change since then, but still we can recognise ourselves as the same individual. We are a different expression of presence in every respect, and yet we are the same person. 

The more we allow our idea of who we should be to shift and change, then the more we can be in tune with the rhythm of our own presence, rather than slaves to our personality or our roles.

What kind of presence are you right now?

What personality traits would you like to be freed from?

A big thank you to all of you with me on this Christmas Presence journey, and especially it is great to see some of these posts being shared around.

Lots of love,

Alexis

xxx

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Christmas Presence 5: All is Well!

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On the fifth day of Christmas Alexis said to me…

All is well!

There is nought to do,

let your light shine,

all we see is thought,

and we are innately happy!

Throughout the series so far, I have focussed on how presence takes us towards our innate happiness, how it grounds us and gives us a sense of mental clarity. In the first video in the series, I talked about how we have incredible innate gifts which are handed to us by evolution, like innate happiness and common sense. In the subsequent videos, I talked about how we create our experiences through thought, and how our awareness of our natural happiness and mental health comes and goes. I talked about the role of techniques in becoming more present, and thus, more in touch with your innate happiness. 

In this video, I want to go a step further and talk about innate wellbeing is always present, regardless of circumstances, and whether we can feel it in the moment. Life doesn’t always look how we think it ‘should’, and perhaps this Christmas you are struggling with difficult circumstances, or a niggling sense that everything is OK in a basic way, but still feels very thorny and problematic. Here, I want to talk about  large and small heartaches, and moving beyond them.   

I know that there have been certain times in my life when, if someone had said, you know it is all OK, I would have sought something that I could staple their head to, or some such. I also know that the world is full of difficult circumstances and hardship, which I can not begin to imagine, like the reality faced every day by Syrian refugees, who have lost so much, or the families and friends grieving for loved ones killed in the Paris attacks.

What I can see though, is that human beings possess such incredible resilience, and some experience their wellbeing more than others, regardless of where they are or what is happening. From any disaster or tragedy come stories of bravery, compassion, heroism, and most of all, love. To me, this is evidence of innate wellbeing, shining through. These people are not extraordinary in that they have a different psychological make up to anyone else. They are extraordinary in the way they sense how to use the natural, ordinary, mental apparatus which we all possess.

By understanding the nature of our innate wellbeing, we are more able to see it, feel it, and respond to our lives from it.

In the video I talked about the big and small things in life that we suffer over, so I have two links for you today, one for each kind of event… 

I want to share this beautiful story of hope, written by Tammy Furey, about her experience of losing her baby son.  

I also want to share this parenting story, where George Halfin watches and offers loving compassion to her son, as he navigates one of life’s bumpy moments.

Can you sense your innate health? How has it shown up in your life? In your family’s lives?

What are you going through right now? Would you like to talk about it?

Come join the Mamajestic Facebook Group and get supported by our gorgeous bunch of mums, with a huge range of experience between them 🙂

As always…lots and lots of love,

Alexis xxx

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